Friday, March 30, 2007

Jesus Had a Penis!

Bob's lead story on today's show was about the "My Sweet Lord" sculpture, a 200 pound crucifix made of chocolate, scheduled to go on display at the Lab Gallery in New York City.

Bob was deeply offended. But for all his offense, he never explained why this was offensive.

Maybe Bob was rancorous that the sculpture depicted Jesus as nude on the cross?

But Jesus was nude on the Crucifix. That's how the Romans did it.

Maybe Bob was offended because the sculpture was anatomically correct?

But Jesus had a penis, right? If Jesus was fully human, he had a penis.

So why is a completely accurate sculpture of the crucifixion offensive?

Maybe it's the chocolate. Is there something offensive about chocolate? Maybe Bob would have been happy if white chocolate was used instead.

So why exactly is Bobbo offended? Probably because being in a constant state of offense allows him to climb up on his soap box, point at others, and declare them evil.

Being constantly offended gives Bob someone to hate.

UPDATE: The exhibition has been canceled. Now Bob has a chance to denounce those Christians who decided to call the gallery and make death threats. Anybody believe that Bob is even going to mention the death threats? Nope, he'll just go on about the victory and how Christians have finally won a single battle.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm sure Bob won't notice the striking resemblance between the chocolate Jesus and the Danish Mohammed cartoons. After all, both cases managed to unreasonably offend the radical elements of each religion and both resulted in death threats. I guess the only difference is that with the cartoons, the religious right (including Bob?) went nuts denouncing those irrational free-speech hating Muslims and with the chocolate Jesus, the religious right are the irrational free-speech hates ones.